I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize