you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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