At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
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I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
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And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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