Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
vagina is talking i cant
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
