So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
