does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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