Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
