he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
there is puke in my bra ... again
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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