In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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