hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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