I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
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Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
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I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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