she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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