Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
