Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
