please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
