I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm at about main and main street
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
