Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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