Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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