So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
