u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
