He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
