Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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