Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
