she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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