wat bout pragnant strippers??
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
