we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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