How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i think my mom watched the whole time
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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