You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I know her cup size but not her name....