Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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