I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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