As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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