M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
