The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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