This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
