Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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