So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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