dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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