My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize