So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
