thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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