You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
