she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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