oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
