The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
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I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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