I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Are we still banned from the library?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
