just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
