just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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