Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Randomize
