It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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