so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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