alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
