No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
