she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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