He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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