i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
