it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
