All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
