she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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