I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
