i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
